Nothing Noteworthy… Straight Babble

It’s almost 6 in the morning… and I’m scanning through photographs … thinking of what could have been. There were nice memories and there were moments of sheer embarassment, pain and anger. I’ve installed new shelving in the laundry room and managed to waste a lot of time walking around the house cleaning after people in the house… It’s relaxing to not have to think about schoolwork… SO I do laundry instead. Before that, I was reminiscing through my old stuff… As I was doing laundry though, it gave me time to contemplate about a lot of stuff. I love the feel of warm clothes… I can’t live without the fresh smell of laundry… and yes, I’m those types of girls who actually enjoy ironing handkerchiefs. I lightly starch mine… Anyway, that’s a little too personal… and I again digress. Through my meditation of folding laundry, I’ve come to realize how much I miss some people in my life. I’ve moved so many times, I find it remarkable that I can still keep in touch with a lot of people. I can’t believe they’d love me that much to put so much effort in keeping in touch. I’m never good at that department. I’ve always used moving as a way to start anew. I believe friends can be made everywhere and even though I will move away from my friends I’ve come to love, I know life will eventually lead us geographically far apart anyway. I know some will try to remain in their comfort zone and never live elsewhere than from the place I left them. I also wonder if that’s something that needs to be changed. I can’t imagine being stagnant like that. But then again, I’m not a firm believer in being so constant. There’ so much to do in life… I don’t know what I would do if I were to stay in one place for too long. But then maybe that’s my problem. I understand histories are shared the longer you are with someone, but I can’t seem to really believe in sticking with one person my whole life. Does that make me out to be a natural bigamist? Maybe it’s because I’ve never met him. I’m too smart to fall so easily for someone. But I do hurt. Scar tissue still remains on my heart, making my heart more inflexible and calloused like heavy armor to protect its innards. Maybe I’m too smart for my own good. Maybe I’m just too … tired. I get bored of my boyfriends so easily. and this has bugged me for years! It’s as if I’m incapable of growing infatuated over a person. Is it possible I’m not meant to find a partner? Maybe. Am I okay with it? I’m not sure. Maybe ignorance is bliss. I have great respect for the sacrament of marriage. On the other hand, I sort of want to find out what it would be like… and whether knowing what it would be like… that maybe I would miss that life if ever my love would leave me. I’m a true romantic at heart, but maybe… even with all my experiences… I haven’t come across love just yet… Maybe I’m still a virgin at love. I have no idea what it would be like to be head over heels in love with a person. All along, I may have just been going through the motions. Is it like what they depict in movies?! I think I’ve bored myself with this idle chatter.

Rufa Mae Quinto and Hayden Kho…

It’s such a disappointment for me to actually believe that MY Jon Avila could fall for Rufa Mae Quinto. Ok. So Jon Avila isn’t mine. One can only wish to encounter a handsome celebrity. My favorite encounter was with Ozawa Yukiyoshi at a Banana Republic. He was shopping for underwear with father and mother in tow. How admirable! Le sigh. If only I can find someone who is into his family like me, like Yukiyoshi! I digress… but the fact that Jon clearly had shown poor taste, I’m rather perturbed by it. One can only hope that there are still people in the world who go by their word. “Down to Earth”? My ass. “Sexy brain” Phht! Ok. I now believe most guys only go for dumb girls. I argue with chemistry majors, but I think that’s hot! I enjoy their company. However, I think it’s a turn-off for guys to involve themselves with a girl who is stimulated by engaging herself in arguments for the sake of exploring intellectual ideas (that was the worst sentence structure ever!). I withhold myself 50% of the time, just to see what they have to say. I’m passive that way. However, I can counter just as effectively… like a well-thought out R jab combo with a L hook. I miss having a geek to call my “love”. Well, I still have Brandon Vera to rely on. He has great taste for women. I love his wife. Now, she has substance. I love that he’s a goofball! Now, that’s a man. It’s just too bad he’s already taken. Donaire is not that bad either. I like his wife as well! Sometimes, I think to myself that… being virtuous isn’t rewarding at all. Sometimes, I feel that being good isn’t all that rewarding either, but I do it anyway. It’s painful. When I feel that there’s no point in helping others because it’s a thankless action, I feel guilty for being that selfish. It’s a vile cycle. It rather pains me to feel that my responsibility is an obligation when in entirety, it is a privilege. To serve God’s purpose should be an honor. Though I may have my own aspirations, I do not know if God is working with me or against what I want to do. If only I could have some reassurance that I’m doing something right… I’m not perfect, but at least I’m trying to be a good and pious person. I’m just not sure what these people such as Katrina, Rufa Mae, Vicky… and Hayden… think about when they are fooling around like that. What percent of the population are hedonists like them? Mistakes are very much intentional. They knew the repercussions, they chose to do so otherwise. Why can’t they just take responsibility for their shameful actions and call it a day? No one should come out of it the victim or the perpetrator. We’ve all seen your fault in moral character. Now move on and change for the better. Trying to do a public castration (of each other) in the entertainment business is just showing how childish the industry can get. And people profit from that drama… like those people from SNN… Kris and Boy… I can’t believe my mom watches them, but only because she’s waiting for the next program to come on. Now, get over it!

Sometimes a gloomy mood needs a little cheering up.

Well, I’m kind of strange, but not. I think the things I think about is normal, but normal people wouldn’t blurt out or admit to strange things that they do and I do have social tact, but that’s not it…what I’m getting at is… It is rather amusing to read the singles classifieds, don’t you think? Honestly, I don’t look in there for the purpose of searching anyone. I mean that. If you think otherwise, that’s fine with me. Well, what I’m going to state will probably reason why I don’t look into the classifieds for decent men. OK! Here’s the link:

http://www.gumtree.com/london/84/33776884.html

Ok, I don’t live in London, nor do I have any intentions on moving there, so why would I look in these classifieds for the purpose of finding “true love” (meant in sarcasm)? Point one. And another thing… If examples of these ads reveal a good proportion of men’s attitudes towards the opposite sex, why would I bother with ads such as these? I’m a very happy-go-lucky person and there are certain circumstances that hinders or well… kills my well being and I’d rather feel happy and I want to laugh… so here is just one good example of why you should stop looking into the comics section of the newspaper and start looking into the classifieds… because it is just straight out funny! And it just makes you smile. It’s quirky, but it’s reality. Everyone needs a good quirky reality once in a while, like a surreal moment that you can control. And by the end of the day, you decide how you should feel. And I decide to laugh and be happy. And you should too.

“Hey there!

Why am I here? Well sadly due to my long working hours, I’ve not had time to meet new people outside work, and I’m not interested in meeting my life partner in a club. To an extent, I’m old fashioned, and this knight, is searching for a princess.

ABOUT ME:
- tall, dark and handsome
- investment banker
- 27 years old
- 6ft2 tall
- medium build
- like to keep fit, go to the gym, play lots of sports
- enjoy going to theatres, shows, museums, eating out and travelling around the world.
- enjoy intellectual conversations about politics and current affairs
- friendly, caring, decent, fun guy
- born n bred in Scotland for 26 years (with Asian origin).
- Aye I have a Scottish accent, came to London last year and looking to explore the city more!
- I like to work hard and play even harder.

LOOKING FOR:
- a good-looking, decent lady
- an intellectual, very smart, preferrably a professional.
- 27 years old or younger
- you must be slim (preferrably size 8 )
- someone from London, please read carefully, I’m not interested in anyone outside London or overseas! So please don’t email me, it clogs up my inbox.
- someone with a good sense of humour and knows how to have fun
- someone who shares similar interests
- someone looking for a serious, long-term relationship, possibly leading to marriage.

I would be happy to hear from you! Please tell me a bit about yourself and include your pic! No pic, no response.

This is a genuine ad, no time wasters please.

Ciao and good luck with your search!

~ Dark Knight”

Image enclosed as well of the site:

Ahh, it’s so difficult to find “DECENT” and good men and they definitely aren’t found in the classifieds! CIAO. Tacky.

le sigh… for soya milk

No, I’m not british… I just watched BBC for “Little Britain” and noticed that they call soy milk as “soya milk”… Not sure why. I digress, but to get to the point at hand, I was going to talk about Vitasoy Green Tea soy milk… I love the stuff. It’s really hard to find around where I live. I found it in Sacramento 2 years ago and then it disappeared. I found a Kikkoman brand of Green Tea Soy Milk and it tastes relatively the same, but I would still prefer Vitasoy. I don’t know why I get this different reaction from people who don’t drink soy. Weird.

The prospect of relationships.

So I got to talking with a friend today. I’m in between thoughts of whether I had hurt her and if it’s in my place to help her. You see, I’m in my 20’s and she’s in her 40’s. The generation gap never did stop us from being friends. At my age, relationships are put on the back burner for later. It’s not a priority. I mean, I would love to depend on someone other than family to be there for me and to enjoy each other’s company, but I’m too young. Most men at my age aren’t exactly my type. I hate to go clubbing and I’d rather spend time at home watching awesome movies on blu-ray and cooking food from recipes off the net. I’m a homebody. If I spend money, it better be for something I truly need and love to have or for someone else. Plus, I don’t have a steady ANYTHING! Anyway, I digress… My conversation with my 40 something friend started off to something about why she hasn’t been at the holiday parties this year… I mentioned, ” oh why, you have a gentleman caller I don’t know about? ” Somehow, the expression on her face changed at that point. I really don’t know what single women in their 40’s think about. How can I? I’m not 40 myself, but I can sympathize that she may be lonely. I want to push her in trying to go unconventional… like Eharmony or something like that. I don’t know. It’s not like I’d have enough time to fill the void. I don’t know of any professors over the age of 35 that are single. I feel that I’m aging. And the prospects of men out there are slim. Many good men are either gay or are already married or so I’ve heard. I wish that weren’t true. Well, my sister did fine at age 30 and that gives me hope. I’m still young, I think, to overly analyze my future. Now, I’m depressed. Well, not really. It takes a lot for me to get depressed. I imagine myself living out somewhere and my niece and nephew would always request to spend their holidays with ME!! Their COOL aunty. I love them sooo much. I keep on digressing, but my point is that I feel for my friend. She’s an awesome God-fearing and adventurous person like me. Why can’t she find anyone for herself? My brother doesn’t feel anything for her even if she was skinny, pretty, smart and is well accepted by our family. I don’t think dicks like my brother accept smart girls. They are probably attracted to short, submissive, manipulative bitches. Just like his past bitches… I don’t know when he’ll learn. So she’s lonely and I totally want to hug her and tell her that her prince charming will come for her someday, but will he? I’m afraid I will be wrong and I’m also afraid to reach 40 and find myself with no “gentleman caller”. I don’t care about being married at all. I can live like George Clooney and have guys fall on my feet for me, but as age will inevitably alter my youthful appearance, my chances of being relatively attractive to eligible men will decline. In our cruel society that we live in, I honestly believe people still go by physical attraction before searching for emotional intimacy with a person. Nobody can read my selfless qualities by the face that I carry and generally, most people wouldn’t care. I won’t even call people who rejects people of the opposite sex by their looks are assholes. Society has evolved that way. I can be witty, charming, courteous and caring, but will my prince charming find me through those qualities? Who knows. I see my widowed mother and I can’t begin to imagine what brought my mother and father together. My mom told me that my dad spotted her at human resources office in their company and my dad said to himself and his friend that my mom was the woman that he was going to marry and he was right. It was attraction at a physical level first. I just want someone to care for me when I get older. I hope to God that God won’t subject me to loneliness for all my life. I can’t say that God can fill that void for me. I can’t say God can fill that void for my friend either. We feel what we feel, really. We are all sentient beings. Those things cannot be controlled. What I can’t stand are good-looking actors dating good-looking celebrities like themselves. No equal chance for a mortal to date untouchables. I don’t know why… For the moment, I’m praying for the health of my cousins’ babies. And my cousin’s daughter’s baby… Oh, how I love my extended family. Well. Happy New Year! I resolve to find myself a decent man to love me. What’s yours?

Christmas Holiday

I had an awesome holiday. My sister surprised my mom by spending Christmas with us… The kids sneaked up on my mom Christmas Eve… It was so cute. With them being at home, it made me realize how much I really loved the warmth of being with family. Just writing these words tear me up. I don’t like to cry. I actually hate being seen crying. It seems that, the harder I keep my feelings in, the more it tries to express itself. As I hugged my niece and nephew, my sister and her husband goodbye, I couldn’t help but cry. As I hugged my sister, she said, “Thank you for everything”. I replied back saying, “you too” with a slight tremble in my voice. Then I hugged her husband goodbye and said, “Thank you for the camera.” He said something back to me, but I didn’t quite hear what he said. I was way too focused on trying not to cry. I couldn’t listen to him and control my urge to cry all at once. The tremor in my voice still remained. Damn, I hate goodbyes. My eyes welled up and by the time that the van left the driveway, tears trickled down on both of my cheeks at a fast rate. I struggled to keep up with wiping them off my face. Right now, I honestly don’t demand much of anything. I’m a simple person, really. However, I’m not sure that I hope to meet “Mr. Right”, but I’m definitely sure I want to start my own family. I would do anything for those kids (my niece and nephew). If I had to donate both my kidney s to each of them, I would. Of course, I would die if that ever happens. I sacrifice sleep just to do things for them and to be with them. I love them. I never cry like this when I break up with someone. Maybe I know the difference… of who really means a lot to me. I’m thinking… you can definitely miss someone, but not necessarily love them. However, when you love someone, it’s synonymous with missing them as well.

Pacquiao vs. De La Hoya Outcome: One Sided Fight by Manny Pacquiao

I said a knockout on the 9th round from my last blog. In the end, I was wrong. It was a stoppage by the end of the 8th round. EVEN BETTER! But! I was really wanting to see a knockout by Pacquiao. If it wasn’t for the stoppage, I would have won money from my bet of a knockout on the 9th. I wanted to see De La Hoya fall flat on his face like what Pacquiao did on the 9th round with David Diaz. I just would not have predicted that Oscar De La Hoya would do so much poorly than expected. Physically, I really didn’t feel that he looked healthy. He looked deprived. And he was! The way Oscar was talking about his diet, he really was disciplined in keeping his weight down. I just don’t think it was healthy. Though Roach was blunt about Oscar’s faults, he was right. Pointing out the obvious isn’t bad… it’s just how Roach said things that might be painful. Anyway. I am disappointed that I didn’t see a Knockout, but I am happy for Pacquiao that he won. he is honestly the better man. Way to Go, Pacquiao!!!! Is Ricky Hatton next? I couldn’t believe Hatton was at the fight as a sports commentator for UK. I was just surprised how one sided the fight was. Pacquiao dominated every round. In brevity, this is how it went down (Lederman Card and Power Punches):
Round 1:
De La Hoya: 9
Pacquiao: 10
Round 2:
De La Hoya: 9 — landed 15, thrown 64, 23% connect
Pacquiao: 10 — landed 28, thrown 54, 52% connect
Round 3:
De La Hoya: 9 — landed 32, thrown 176, 18% connect
Pacquiao: 10 — landed 57, thrown 171, 33% connect
Round 4:
De La Hoya: 9 — landed 29, thrown 105, 28% connect
Pacquiao: 10 — landed 78, thrown 131, 60% connect
Round 5:
De La Hoya: 9 — landed 37, thrown 125, 30% connect
Pacquiao: 10 — landed 105, thrown 178, 59% connect
Round 6: Pacquiao reconfiguring De La Hoya’s Face
De La Hoya: 9 — landed 69, thrown 343, 20% connect
Pacquiao: 10 — landed 149, thrown 406, 37% connect
Round 7: De La hoya has zero answers for Pacquiao, Oscars Left Eye is almost closed.
De La Hoya: 8 — landed 46, thrown 149, 31% connect
Pacquiao: 10 — landed 170, thrown 291, 58% connect
Round 8: Death by a thousand left hands
De La Hoya: 9 — landed 83, thrown 402, 21% connect
Pacquiao: 10 — landed 224, thrown 585, 38% connect
STOPPAGE AT THE END OF THE EIGHTH ROUND!

Total Power Punches

De La Hoya: landed 51, thrown 164, 31%

Pacquiao: landed 195, thrown 333, 59%

Oscar De La Hoya made Manny’s fight with David Diaz more exciting to watch. Manny was a cosmetic surgeon in the ring rearranging De La Hoya’s face like that. Death by a thousand left hand punches as like what one commentator said. Good Night! Surreal. Well, I’m sleeping happy tonight.

Reader’s Digest —Manny Pacquiao

Manny Pacquiao…

Reader’s Digest Magazine —Asia Edition.   December 2008 edition.

Pacquiao vs. De La Hoya

I know… I know… I’m a woman. What the hell do I know about boxing? Well, I enjoy watching the sport. I don’t have the money for a coach nor do I have the discipline at this moment to take on an interest since my face is buried in books. Yeah, I’m anticipating the fight. I believe the scales were rigged. I think De La Hoya paid people do do it. It’s a conspiracy. Unfortunately, people can be bought. No loyalty whatsoever. Like Joe Chavez… C’mon now. He WAS with Pacquiao (as the cutman) for four fights! (Velasquez, Barrera, twice for E. Morales)… Yes, Joe can be bought. You saw 24/7? Oscar got his hand job from Joe… yeah, ok, joe does good wrapping… but crap… Oscar is waited on hand and foot. He thinks Dundee can fix him? HAH! No offense for Bernard Hopkins being that he’s Oscar’s business partner and all, but it’s not all about proving yourself to people you can still perform despite the age. Hopkins got skills. Some people doubted him, but of course some people (like me) didn’t. I LOVE Bernard Hopkins. I really did expect him to win over Pavlik. But taking Oscar’s side? I honestly don’t care about the age difference or the size difference with Pacquiao and De La Hoya. All I know is that Oscar was sparring with some guys that just weren’t as fast as Pacquiao. And Valero gave Oscar a blackeye? hahahahahhahahahahah! That was funny.You know that look Oscar has? That worried look? I think it’s a look of a liar more than just anxiety. He probably paid off someone to “take care” of some things to his advantage. As Oscar said, there will be a knockout (with a stupid smirk on his face). Yes, Oscar, there will be a knockout. It will be your face to the ground on the 9th. Honestly, I don’t care how old he is, or how much taller and bigger stature than he is to Manny. All I know is that Pacquiao got skills, got class, got the love and support of his country, got HEART. That’s right. HEART! And Oscar badmouths for publicity about how he wants to take it away from Manny. I’m just venting here. If it was Mayweather trashtalking, that’s expected and I could care less because he’s just picking fights. He knows what opponents not to take on. It’s a smart move, but it makes him look like a pansy (picture Madagascar). So you heard it from me. I say Pacquiao KO’s De La Hoya on the 9th. Then my second guess would be going to decision. At that point, it would still make Manny look good. C’mon now, did you notice Oscar had his shoes removed during picture taking around weigh ins? So they’d at least look less of a mismatch? Oscar takes us for fools. And you know what? Even Mexicans caught on. No wonder Pacquiao has such a great Mexican following. They’ll probably take Oscar off diuretics after the weigh in. He looked emaciated and pale. Remember Eric Morales on the 3rd fight? Remember this… for every 2% water weight loss, you lose 10% of your performance. You lose, Oscar.

Venting… about this week

Let’s just begin by saying that I had a rough week. My mom could even read what was bothering me. As semester is coming to a close, the mid terms before the final examinations were administered. Some people would think that the finals would be the most stressful time of all, but in actuality, it is the mid terms before the finals that get ME anxious and expressing typical signs of panic. My nails are the first to go. After finals, I’ll treat myself to some acrylics, but I still have a thing about fake anythings. Anyway, as I start to digress, I’ll go back in topic. My nerves were overstimulated and by the end of the day on friday, my body tried to feel normal again. However, because I have had a total of about 10 hours of sleep the whole monday through friday thing (five days =10 hours sleep!), I really had no REM sleep. It’s dangerous. Read about it. NO single person could go without REM sleep. That I know. So I looked it up and discovered something. I actually did get some REM sleep… OK, I googled it and took this quote from about.com:

“Researchers do not fully understand REM sleep and dreaming. They know it is important in the creation of long-term memories. If a person’s REM sleep is disrupted, the next sleep cycle does not follow the normal order, but often goes directly to REM sleep until the previous night’s lost REM time is made up.”

Ok, maybe I did get some REM sleep because the sleep cycle didn’t start all over again and just continued my REM sleep the following nights after my first small nap, but since I was so hooked on caffeine the whole week, I didn’t exactly sleep in early by friday night. I fell asleep by 6:00 am on saturday morning. My body didn’t feel normal the whole week! Sometimes, as I was going through the motions of what I had to do that week, at certain times, I wouldn’t remember how I got from point A to point B. As if my short term memory had been shot. For instance, I would remember the last photographic memory of driving and remembering a landmark then the very instance I snap out of zoning out, I would be 3 minutes down the freeway from the landmark I remembered last seeing while driving. The feeling is extrememly freaky. I sometimes think that there’s someone up there that loves me watching over me. I don’t know what happened while I was zoned out, but I’d like to think that someone up there really guided me. With the caffeine and all, I was tripping to the restrooms ad bathrooms quite frequently. Then, the fact that I missed going to the gym the whole week made me feel like jello and guilty for not seeing that hot japanese guy who I would occasionally lock glances with. I had to concentrate. No distractions. By the time I crashed on my bed at 5 in the morning on Saturday (watched TV before I actually fell asleep a little before 6am), It felt so good to be in bed with my comforter wrapped around me and my head shrouded by pillows, and a heated pad around my waist to keep me warm ( yes, heated blanket is on my christmas wish list ). It’s getting to be cold at night now. That’s Northern Cali for you. After the tough week consuming coffee, red bulls and diet pills loaded with caffeine, my mind had literally forgotten what to do for myself. All the focus was just on “the processes of getting my shit done for the class and study hecka lot until the moment of the exam when I can unpack all that knowledge I attained on to the exam. ” For instance, I would first collect and organize my notes, then in studying, I would rewrite what I remember on the left side of the page and try to reread the information until I was certain that I was able t recall the information fairly well. Every semester, I go through this. I can’t wait for the time when I can just relax a little. AS an individual, without the obligations that come with attending school and aspiring a wanted field of study, I’m a fun person to be with. I’m simple. I like simple activities. Just simply getting away from the elements of work will make me happy. Yep, I don’t need someone else to enjoy life. I know there are women out there who are lonely and seek males for companionship, but that’s not me. And not a lot of guys appreciate that about me. Of course they want to feel wanted. I just haven’t been able to feel that way with someone. Of course breakups are bad experiences, but I think its the transition back to the single life that’s painful. I mean, you’re so used to the person being around and your shared experiences were so great, it’s like going through withdrawals when I break up with someone. I enjoy living. I appreciate that God kept me on this Earth to experience such awesome experiences… ahh, to enjoy nature and the world full of all its wonders. I reiterate… I am a simple person. I could be a bum on the beach and be happy. As long as I got God in my life, food in my belly, clothes to cover my body in consideration of others, a place to shower, and a place to lie down to rest, I’m set. I consider wet wipes a luxury and outside communication not necessary. However, it would be nice to share my moments with someone. I have the love of my friends and family. I don’t consider it a necessary, but it is a nice blessing.  In winter, I usually have the craving to want to go to the beach and surf. Even though it’s cold outside, at least I can enjoy being outdoors through going snowboarding. I think I thrive on nature. Anyway, I’m so glad that the week finally ended. I still have one exam next tuesday and a paper due before thanksgiving. After next wednesday night, I’ll finally be able to relax for at least 4 days. I can’t wait! I’m bummed I won’t be around much with family, but hopefully, next year and the years after that, I get the chance to enjoy their company. On a random note, I miss green tea soy milk and I’m craving for chai latte tonight… grr. AND! *** *******, if you’re reading this, I’d definitely be falling asleep to the thoughts of you tonight. …sweet dreams