Venting… about this week

Let’s just begin by saying that I had a rough week. My mom could even read what was bothering me. As semester is coming to a close, the mid terms before the final examinations were administered. Some people would think that the finals would be the most stressful time of all, but in actuality, it is the mid terms before the finals that get ME anxious and expressing typical signs of panic. My nails are the first to go. After finals, I’ll treat myself to some acrylics, but I still have a thing about fake anythings. Anyway, as I start to digress, I’ll go back in topic. My nerves were overstimulated and by the end of the day on friday, my body tried to feel normal again. However, because I have had a total of about 10 hours of sleep the whole monday through friday thing (five days =10 hours sleep!), I really had no REM sleep. It’s dangerous. Read about it. NO single person could go without REM sleep. That I know. So I looked it up and discovered something. I actually did get some REM sleep… OK, I googled it and took this quote from about.com:

“Researchers do not fully understand REM sleep and dreaming. They know it is important in the creation of long-term memories. If a person’s REM sleep is disrupted, the next sleep cycle does not follow the normal order, but often goes directly to REM sleep until the previous night’s lost REM time is made up.”

Ok, maybe I did get some REM sleep because the sleep cycle didn’t start all over again and just continued my REM sleep the following nights after my first small nap, but since I was so hooked on caffeine the whole week, I didn’t exactly sleep in early by friday night. I fell asleep by 6:00 am on saturday morning. My body didn’t feel normal the whole week! Sometimes, as I was going through the motions of what I had to do that week, at certain times, I wouldn’t remember how I got from point A to point B. As if my short term memory had been shot. For instance, I would remember the last photographic memory of driving and remembering a landmark then the very instance I snap out of zoning out, I would be 3 minutes down the freeway from the landmark I remembered last seeing while driving. The feeling is extrememly freaky. I sometimes think that there’s someone up there that loves me watching over me. I don’t know what happened while I was zoned out, but I’d like to think that someone up there really guided me. With the caffeine and all, I was tripping to the restrooms ad bathrooms quite frequently. Then, the fact that I missed going to the gym the whole week made me feel like jello and guilty for not seeing that hot japanese guy who I would occasionally lock glances with. I had to concentrate. No distractions. By the time I crashed on my bed at 5 in the morning on Saturday (watched TV before I actually fell asleep a little before 6am), It felt so good to be in bed with my comforter wrapped around me and my head shrouded by pillows, and a heated pad around my waist to keep me warm ( yes, heated blanket is on my christmas wish list ). It’s getting to be cold at night now. That’s Northern Cali for you. After the tough week consuming coffee, red bulls and diet pills loaded with caffeine, my mind had literally forgotten what to do for myself. All the focus was just on “the processes of getting my shit done for the class and study hecka lot until the moment of the exam when I can unpack all that knowledge I attained on to the exam. ” For instance, I would first collect and organize my notes, then in studying, I would rewrite what I remember on the left side of the page and try to reread the information until I was certain that I was able t recall the information fairly well. Every semester, I go through this. I can’t wait for the time when I can just relax a little. AS an individual, without the obligations that come with attending school and aspiring a wanted field of study, I’m a fun person to be with. I’m simple. I like simple activities. Just simply getting away from the elements of work will make me happy. Yep, I don’t need someone else to enjoy life. I know there are women out there who are lonely and seek males for companionship, but that’s not me. And not a lot of guys appreciate that about me. Of course they want to feel wanted. I just haven’t been able to feel that way with someone. Of course breakups are bad experiences, but I think its the transition back to the single life that’s painful. I mean, you’re so used to the person being around and your shared experiences were so great, it’s like going through withdrawals when I break up with someone. I enjoy living. I appreciate that God kept me on this Earth to experience such awesome experiences… ahh, to enjoy nature and the world full of all its wonders. I reiterate… I am a simple person. I could be a bum on the beach and be happy. As long as I got God in my life, food in my belly, clothes to cover my body in consideration of others, a place to shower, and a place to lie down to rest, I’m set. I consider wet wipes a luxury and outside communication not necessary. However, it would be nice to share my moments with someone. I have the love of my friends and family. I don’t consider it a necessary, but it is a nice blessing.  In winter, I usually have the craving to want to go to the beach and surf. Even though it’s cold outside, at least I can enjoy being outdoors through going snowboarding. I think I thrive on nature. Anyway, I’m so glad that the week finally ended. I still have one exam next tuesday and a paper due before thanksgiving. After next wednesday night, I’ll finally be able to relax for at least 4 days. I can’t wait! I’m bummed I won’t be around much with family, but hopefully, next year and the years after that, I get the chance to enjoy their company. On a random note, I miss green tea soy milk and I’m craving for chai latte tonight… grr. AND! *** *******, if you’re reading this, I’d definitely be falling asleep to the thoughts of you tonight. …sweet dreams