Christmas Holiday

I had an awesome holiday. My sister surprised my mom by spending Christmas with us… The kids sneaked up on my mom Christmas Eve… It was so cute. With them being at home, it made me realize how much I really loved the warmth of being with family. Just writing these words tear me up. I don’t like to cry. I actually hate being seen crying. It seems that, the harder I keep my feelings in, the more it tries to express itself. As I hugged my niece and nephew, my sister and her husband goodbye, I couldn’t help but cry. As I hugged my sister, she said, “Thank you for everything”. I replied back saying, “you too” with a slight tremble in my voice. Then I hugged her husband goodbye and said, “Thank you for the camera.” He said something back to me, but I didn’t quite hear what he said. I was way too focused on trying not to cry. I couldn’t listen to him and control my urge to cry all at once. The tremor in my voice still remained. Damn, I hate goodbyes. My eyes welled up and by the time that the van left the driveway, tears trickled down on both of my cheeks at a fast rate. I struggled to keep up with wiping them off my face. Right now, I honestly don’t demand much of anything. I’m a simple person, really. However, I’m not sure that I hope to meet “Mr. Right”, but I’m definitely sure I want to start my own family. I would do anything for those kids (my niece and nephew). If I had to donate both my kidney s to each of them, I would. Of course, I would die if that ever happens. I sacrifice sleep just to do things for them and to be with them. I love them. I never cry like this when I break up with someone. Maybe I know the difference… of who really means a lot to me. I’m thinking… you can definitely miss someone, but not necessarily love them. However, when you love someone, it’s synonymous with missing them as well.